Dear Alpha Mare: I know very little about Friesians. However, when I saw my first one it took my breath away. Since then I have had a desire to own a Friesian. As I know nothing about them I’m wondering what you can tell me about owning and working with this breed. I have heard them referred to as ‘gentle giants,’ which I love. I know they are often driven, ridden english, and kept stabled. Can they be ridden western, kept out in pasture and used as a general mountain/trail horse?
Kathryn: Much like the woman who wrote this letter, once I saw my first Friesians galloping across a lush field in Oregon over 25 years ago, their grace and beauty, nobility and magnificent presence all swept me off my feet. I was so starry-eyed and enamored from that day forward that for years I projected onto them every horse fantasy imaginable and would have argued with anyone that there was no more perfect breed than the Friesian. Indeed I did just that in my first encounter with Chris, my husband, which we still chuckle over to this day.
But then I wizened up and began to know horses for who they really are rather than what I imagined them to be. And that changed everything. Chris and I see and work with hundreds of horses of all breeds, ages and genders each year, and I have personally worked with many Friesians. I can tell you the reality versus the illusion of these incredible horses is both sobering and enlightening. Thus my answer to this question today is radically different than the waxing poetic I would have spouted years ago, and has spurred my own learning curve in developing a reference guide of valuable horse sense that I use every time I meet a new horse.
When it comes to sizing up a horse, I have learned to operate with two main maxims: “Pretty is as pretty does” and “To know them is to love them.”
Note the emphasis on “knowing.” Horses will fall in three categories: “Yes,” “no” or “maybe” horses. Until you have experienced the good, bad and the ugly of their daily living, you won’t know how to coax a “maybe” horse into a “yes” horse, or accept the challenge of breaking down the barriers that have “no” horses shut down and stuck in resentment and anger. And love? It’s more likely infatuation based on wishful thinking. And all of us know that wishful thinking can so easily lead to a broken heart. So let’s avoid all that as we get real about this equine journey.
Just like humans, horses are individuals, with a mind and a will of their own which is constantly in flux and molded by both nature and nurture. What with the crossing of bloodlines between the hot, cold and warm-blooded breeds, there are no set categories for horse types any longer.
Horses bred to pull carriages are winning in dressage. Horses bred to race are standing in harness. Horses normally ridden english are cleaning up on the reining circuit. Horses bred to chase cows are, well, chasing cows. But you can find Quarter Horses bred hotter than a pistol, Mustangs that plant like a Percheron, Shires flying over fences and Thoroughbreds staring down a bull.

Each An Individual
On top of that, many of the breeds can now be found in both “old style,” the bigger, broader, carriage-type with more cold-blood personalities, and “new style,” leaner, more refined and of a hotter temperament, including European Warmbloods, and, yes, Friesians.
The Friesian temperament can go both ways and just as easily wig out over a new object in the arena as develop a standoffish, hard eye to a stranger who doesn’t speak horse. Which makes them a bit tricky and hard to peg. The only thing I have found in this breed is that they tend to internalize and be more likely to develop an ulcer than throw a temper tantrum. Of the Friesians I’ve had the pleasure of knowing, some are daintier than a ballerina, with delicate minds to match, others big, bold sumo wrestlers whose stoic stance says “Make me!” and still others big teddy bears that will come in and cuddle if you stay out of their face.
As far as costume, a horse doesn’t care what kind of saddle and bridle you put on it, it cares about how your alignment makes it feel with your weight in the middle of its back. It cares how your hands feel on the bridle, with that piece of metal laced through its sensitive mouth. Horses are real-wheel drive. Their movement originates in their hind-end not their head. So steering from your core instead of from the bridle will allow it to relax and flow into its movement. Soft, constant contact, rather than loose reins that pull when it wanders off track, lets it know where you are and that you will keep it balanced.
When it comes to how they live, I have found that any horse born and raised in a barn will go ga-ga over life in a wide-open pasture, as long as there is some kind of shelter for weather. My Thoroughbred gelding Razzy who only knew racetracks, stalls and indoor arenas in his young years has matured into a princely, level-headed trail master after a year of living on 180 acres of wide-open pasture. He has become both dependable and sensible – a novel concept for a Thoroughbred!
On the flip side, however, I have noticed that horses who have lived on pasture don’t take quite as well to being boxed into a stall, unless they have lots of good turn-out time, and come to view their stall as a nesting sanctuary.
Truth is, there are just no hard and fast rules any more. Be it a magnificently noble Friesian, graceful and dramatic Arab, flashy, fancy Gypsy Vanner or sensitive and sleek Thoroughbred, a horse of any breed and any gender can run the gamut in temperament – from playful to aggressive, pushy to skittish, intrusive to standoffish, curious to shut-down and everything in between. They are just looking to you to determine which one they will be. The more fluent you are in their language, the more tactful you are in asking appropriately for what you want, the easier it will be to bring out their kind, forgiving, willing natures.
So what becomes critical to a horse’s well-being is to learn not to stereotype it (i.e. gentle giants). Instead, take each one as the unique personality that it is and adjust yourself to what it needs from you.